So I told my aunt Gloria (my dad’s sister) about the old man who asked me if I have a big penis. She said that when he asked me that I should have pulled it out and slapped him with it…God I love my crude family :)
Also, 5 freakin days till California =)
How bad would it suck to die from an accident involving caution tape?
So I decided that I was going to sell as many of my books back to the bookstore that I could cuz well they’re now useless and I want money. Worked out well too…got $85. After acquiring this money I felt the need to go put some of it in my savings for my trip to California (which is in like 9 days now btw =) Anyways, I drive to Lillington and realize that my truck must be running on air cuz the needle is well past E. Pit stop in the Kangaroo…normal routine gas stop, right?…WRONG!! I pay for my gas, fill her up and check my oil. As I walk to the door of my truck I see some old man walking my way like he has something to say. Mother fucker is like 80 so I figure, alright its a sweet old man. It starts off casual - he asks me how my gas mileage is in the truck. I tell him I get 30 miles to the gallon and I almost fell over when he answered: (this is paraphrased) “damn mother fucker that’s fucking awesome.” It was pretty much the funniest thing ever.
We keep talkin and eventually he tells me that he knows some guy about my size and age. I was like ok that’s great; you know, just letting the old man who’s probably not gonna live much longer ramble. He then proceeds to tell me that this guy, apparently his name was Ryan, has a huge penis. WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Wait a second old man back up the alzhemier’s train…wtf did you just say? Can anyone say awkward? It was at this point that I was trying to get the fuck away from the old, white version of Michael Jackson. Then he proceeded to ask if I,being of relatively the same size and age as Ryan have a big penis……….How the hell do you answer that? I was like, uh, uh, well I guess but I gotta go now; I gotta go run my truck into a tree or something. It was made even more awkward by the fact that he was staring at my crotch when he asked me. Then he started talkin bout my truck again and the wonderful gas mileage. Excuse me sir, you just asked me if I have a large penis and now you wanna talk about trucks again? No can do…so I got the fuck out of there as quickly as was humanly possible. I was literally speechless for like 2 minutes, just driving, wondering what the hell had just happened. Old people are supposed to be sweet and old and dying of some disease…not undressing you with their cataract covered eyes! =/
So needless to say it has been one heck of a day…But now I gotta go study for my Business Law exam. DEUCES!!! =)
In honor of old people everywhere:
Soooooo I’m goin to the beach for the weekend with my girl :) The Outer Banks actually…I’m pretty excited. Also, classes are over for the year - I’m a senior :) which is kind of wierd but not that wierd since I have been a senior once (in high school). Little Big Town tonight…boondocks, Bring it on home, etc. Gonna be awesome.
If you haven’t seen my co-hosting skills at their best you should check out Amanda’s vlog: http://www.youtube.com/user/amindy07 - It was good times. Im actually thinking about charging Mcdonalds for publicity since I was eating a Mcflurry during the shooting of the video. I hope that I can continue to co-host with her…maybe Ill have Wendy’s next week. Or maybe I could dress up like a cow and have some Chick fil a. Wow, that’s goin a little far I feel.
Also, fourteen days till freaking California =) The funny thing is that we are in no way prepared for this trip. Lee says we will break down in Virginia, but I think we will make it at least to the Badlands before that happens :) Anyway, as I said we are in no way prepared - there is so much to …but we’ll get it done one way or another. I think we are gonna vlog bout it next Thursday =)
Speaking of California, I made a list of movies that I want to watch like the night before we leave for the trip:
1. House of a 1000 corpses
2. The Hills Have Eyes
3. Wrong Turn
4. Cabin Fever
5. House of Wax
Funnily enough they all deal with road trips…;). I wanna get the shit scared out of me before we go lol.
Aight well gotta go to the concert now…DEUCES!!!!!!
In honor of Little Big Town: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-XfthjK-bk
=)
Just finished my research paper, waitin for my girl to get back to school - figured I’d blog.
Also, it is hot as fuck in our dorm room - I’m burning up!!! (See also: Jonas Brothers). I think Campbell has decided that they are gonna crawl their way through this recession by saving lots o’ cash from not providing air conditioning to any of the dorms. Oh Campbell, gotta love thee!! I feel that this is detrimental to my health - and not in the way that one would think..for example, heat stroke. No, there are other dangers to no provision of air conditioning as well. I felt the need to make a list:
1. Defenestrating oneself out of the window whilst trying to lift the window of a dorm…each one ways about as much as a baby elephant.
2. Killing yourself (or at least almost breaking something), by all sorts of various means, whilst trying to get away from the wasp, bee, UFO, etc. that has flown into your window, landed on your leg, and made you piss yourself.
3. Drowning in your own sweat…now there’s a good way to go. Alothough almost just as bad as that is when (guys can vouch for me here) your nutsack sticks to your leg.
4. Electric shock - occuring when you are plugging in the tiny ass fan that isn’t gonna do shit but you hope that it will help a little bit.
…OK, so its a very long list - but the posibilities are still there :)
Also, Im super stoked that I finished my research paper - 7 pages on the meaning of Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels - book 4. Synopsis: Gulliver captains a ship, but all his men die. So he has to get new men but they are pirates. So, they take over the ship and drop him off on some random ass island. Gulliver goes up on the island and it ends up being some place inhabited and run by horses. The funny thing is the horses run this bitch, and humans (who they call yahoos) are the animals. Personally, I think think would have been a much better read were I stoned…but let’s just be honest - at that point I would just fall asleep :) But whatever cuz Im done with it now - which means I have no more big assignemnts left :) and there’s only 13 days of school left - boo yah mother fuckers!!
Upcoming events Im hella psyched bout:
Beach Thursday - cuz we have Good Friday off :)
Party not this Saturday, but the next - Lingerie and jammies
Little Big Town Concert - April 23rd here at good ol’ Buies Creek
OBX with Meghan - leaving right after the concert
CALIFORNIA IN 32 DAYS!!!!!!!!
…I think that’s about it :).
K, well I think Ima go watch some Black Donnelly’s or something till Meghan gets back.
Deuces!!!
I guess this is a problem that most people face at one point or another in their life: being in a relationship whilst also not abandoning your friends. It’s just you and your friends and that’s all you need…until you meet that special someone. You say it will be the same, nothing will change, you’re just gonna date him/her and still make time for your friends; it’s not always that easy. Apparently I am terrible at this seeing as how I did it once before and didn’t learn anything from it. I do it without even realizing it and hurt the ones that are closest to me. I’m sorry that I didn’t see what I was doing and I will try to do better - it’s just difficult sometimes. Life gets in the way and when you’re busy as hell all the time it’s easy to let things slip away. I promise I will try harder but I’m gonna make mistakes and slip up - the worst part about it is I know that at some point I have to hurt someone’s feelings or say no to someone and that kills me. I want to make eveyone happy all the time, even if that means self sacrifice. Im coming to the realization that you can’t please everyone all the time and sometimes you gotta just say no or hurt someone’s feelings. The only solace I have is that I have the greatest friends, and girlfriend, in the world and I know that they aren’t gonna disown me or hold a grudge if I do say no - they will simply love me and that will never change. I am very blessed to have them in my life and thank God for them every day. Whatever, it will all be fine in the end and at the end of the day its all gravy - so Ima hit the hay now. DOOSHES!!
As always: an awesome youtube video:
So I know…its been foever since I’ve blogged - u can thank Campbell University for that :) Speaking of Campbell and school - we have only 25 school days till we’re out for the summer and they can’t be over soon enough. At this point I just wanna pass my classes and do absolutely nothing this summer - except work…but as we all know, it takes no skill whatsoever to work in the music department at the Barnes and Noble - Hellen Keller could do it with one hand tied behind her back…too far? - maybe.
Quite a bit has happened since the last time I blogged, but I can’t think of much of anything right now so Ima just ramble on. Im chillin in Meghan’s dorm, watching her be studious whilst doing her reading for Western Civ and English (real go getter that girl, makes me sick lol).
Oh! So I finally finished the third book of the Twilight series today: Eclipse. I neglected most of my school work for the past two days so that I could read the remaining 350 pages I had. Now that Im done I need to get the fourth one or else Ill have nothing else to distract me from my studies and I may end up doing time =/. But enough bout my lack of work ethic, onto the good stuff - Ms. Meyer I was impressed with the third book, hell I couldn’t put it down, but some of the dialogue in this book leaves a little to be desired - the target audience (13 year old girls) was painfully evident when when Jacob said “The clouds I can handle, but I can’t fight with an eclipse.” REALLY??? - I read that and wanted to barf. One may say that its because Im a guy but ask anyone who knows me - Im more of a girl than (insert girl name here). I guess should be counting my blessings though - at least you didn’t have a fetish for a single word and use it incessantly in this book, like you did in Twilight - how many times can you use the word incredulous? Unbelievable ;). But for all my bitchin it was a pretty good book - not exactly Pulitzer Prize material and it’s not like we’re gonna be studying it for years to come in English classes all over the U.S. but hey, at least we can make a couple really bad movies out of it…right?
So another fun story - I had a Stats test Monday - my fucking batteries died half way through the test and guess what you can’t do without a calculator - find the confidence intervals of sample and population means for z-values and t-values. So I made a 69…shoot me in the face. But shes letting us fix our mistakes, hopefully for half credit, so hopefully I can get a B on it. This brings me to a very important point I fee l I should make - why the fuck do I have to suffer through a semester of Statistics, with a teacher who looks like the cookie monster? When will I ever say, “Man, Im really glad I learned how to find the confidence interval for various population means - this really applies to my life at the moment”?…….Im waiting…that’s right - NEVER. But whatever, at this point its almost over and when I get out of that class Im having a book burning party devoted only to my Stats textbook. Everyone’s invited - There will be liquor ;)
OK well Im gonna go now cuz I gotta go drain my main vein, u know, knock the dew off my lily -whatever expression you wanna use is fine ;)
Until next time:
It’s only fucking Tuesday…I want it to be Thursday morning - for that is when choir tour begins…Good freakin times. We are going to New York City (center of the universe) and we’re all pretty stoked. On our way we’re stopping by Gettysburg to tour the battlefield…and to reenact the shit that went down there during WWII…just kidding, the Civil War. Something about “the South will rise again?” I’m not really sure. Im pretty much stoked as hell though…I just have to get through one more day of classes - unfortunately one of those classes is Spanish - the bane of my existence. But its whatever, the oral exam is already over so I just have to sit through 50 minutes of Hell. It’ll b ok though cuz then I’m going up to Apex to meet a goose ;) (it’s grey) and I’m pretty excited.
I did my taxes…and I am quite pleased with the results. Turns out I over payed Washington $395 and the state $9 :) That will come in quite handy when I’m driving across the country with some of the most important people in my life!!!
I decided that I wanted to do my taxes online this year, cuz it worked pretty well last year and it’s pretty cheap; I make jack shit so it takes like 20 minutes. Well the first time I did it they told me that I owe $124,810 to the federal government and $32,000 to the good ole state of North Carolina…something in the back of my brain told me that was just not right - either that or I made a lot more money than I remeber this year and spent it all on prostitutes and cocaine. So I think, “well, after I sell both of my nuts for $50,000 each I will still owe $24,810 to Uncle Sam…or I could go back and make sure I did everything correctly.” Thankfully, for the sake of my future children and girlfriend I can keep both of my little round friends and I’m getting paid.
Intermediate Macroeconomics…the name just makes you want to stab yourself in the throat so you have an excuse to not go to this class. It isn’t as bad as it sounds though…shit I’m in there. Anyway, we got our first exams back today - I got 20 points - a 20.5 is an A. Fuck my life. I’ll take a B though - at least I didn’t make what home boy beside me made…we’ll call him dumbass to protect his identity. Me: “Mmhmm, excuse me?” dumbass: “Yes a 2.” Me:”Uh dude I think you have the wrong major.” dumbass: “I just made some stupid mistakes.” Yeah no kiddin he made a few mistakes…I didn’t know what to say.
Also, speaking of this class, it reminds me: I hate you mother fuckers who have to question everything that the teacher tells you. When you stop after every statment made by the teacher so you can throw in your two cents in about the subject you are benefiting no one and you come that much closer to someone in the class killing you - or at least removing your voice box so you can no longer be that asshole who has something to say about everything. Next time you get the urge to say something in class DON’T. Simple as that - just say to yourself “Is this asinine comment that I’m about to make relevant in any way to what we are discussing?” And when you answer that question with a simple but emphatic “NO!”,which you undoubtedly will, simply keep your fucking mouth shut.
Also, my professor, Dr. Yonai, is the shit. Today we were discussing various exogenous and endogenous variables and someone asked whether a particular variable was relevant in certain situations, to which he simply replied “Oh, that variable just gets eaten out.” Chuckle Chuckle
I’m hungry: I am going to eat now…until next time:
